Christmas is coming and I'm getting fat!

I have recently uncovered the secret to unparalleled satisfaction in gift giving!
Getting what you want for Christmas creates wonderful feelings of delight deep within the soul. It is only natural that one feel the need to help others to feel those same delightful sensations. The curious manifestation of of these truths is seen in the desire to give what makes US feel warm and fuzzy. We must discover that one and only gift that not only lights the fires of desire in the receiver but also lights those same fires in our own hearts. Let me give you a shining example from my own life:

I was recently faced with an almost insurmountable task of purchasing the perfect present for the eldest of the Marten offspring. Had I instead been assigned to give to a more... feminine family member I would be forced to remove "almost" from the previous sentence. Anyway... I quickly ruled out everything that I wasn't either planning to get, or already splurged on. A 1080p flat screen lasted only until I was reminded of my diminished financial status, and seriously if I could afford one I would already have one. Other extravagant gifts entered my mind... a '79 Trans am? a puppy? An official Red Ryder carbine action two-hundred shot range model air rifle with a compass in the stock? It all passed quickly through the vast recesses of my seldom utilized cranium. Then I knew what I wanted (Wanted to GIVE that is). My mind was drawn back in time to the irresistible urge to purchase on of my own not long ago. The old feeling of warmth and satisfaction lit the fires in my heart as I imagined another receiving those same feelings. Only I could light those fires! It was my calling! My duty! My destiny!

This Christmas give the gift that lights your fire! (and hopefully the fire of the receiver as well)
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!!! And happy giving!