What'd I do?

Men are simple creatures. We know that female is the opposite of male, and we see the evidence of that every day in almost all facets of our lives. It's sad, really, how well women understand us and how little we know about them... It's obvious that women understand men a lot better than we understand them. I mean, have you ever heard of a guy getting up and stomping off with the girl sitting on the couch yelling after him, "What'd I do?" Yeah, I didn't think so.

As much as I'd like to say that I wish women came with a manual on how to understand them, we all know that men never read manuals. They just keep plugging stuff in until something works. This is how we view life in general. If you tell a guy they can't do something, you're guaranteed that they will stop at nothing to prove you wrong(this doesn't apply to cleaning, leaving the toilet seat down, or any other useful activities).

Even though women understand us, they like to pretend that we're a lot more complicated than we really are. For instance they like to ask us, "what are you thinking about?" For those of you who really don't know what men think about, there is only a short list to choose from: 1. we're thinking about food. We're always hungry, and even when we're not, that doesn't mean we don't want to eat. Just remember, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach... 2. violence. you see it all the time: sports, video games, friendly neighborhood killer wrestling deathmatches... Keep your flowers and scrapbooking, if you want to make a guy happy get him something violent. 3. Sex. If you didn't see that one coming, you're a... well, you should have seen it coming.

Now, there is a 4th option that never really gets mentioned. And I would argue that this is what guys think about at least 90% of the time: NOTHING. We're not thinking about anything! We're too lazy to spend all that time and energy thinking about stuff. I'm pretty sure you can't argue this one girls, and even if you could, why would you?

Which brings me back to my original point. Us guys don't even know what's up until the girl stomps off yelling at us, which finally kicks our brains in gear as we scramble to figure out what our hainus offence really was.

Guys don't get offended. And even if they do, after a few harsh words(or blows) things are back to normal. It's hard for guys to remember that they have to treat (and talk to) women vastly different than normal people(ie guys).

So in conclusion, let me appologize in advance for the whole male race, we don't know what we did, but I'm sure you can think of something. Women: don't be offended by anything that comes out of our mouth(or any other orifice), we didn't mean to offend you.