You've got better things to do?

Most assuredly there are people who have better things to do- My writing here however, is evidence that I am not numbered among those blessed/unfortunate souls. The best thing that I have to do right now just happens to be the thing I least want to do in life... Homework.

I remember fondly the buddings of each new semester- where a "new" Caleb optimistically registers for a plethora of classes that will push him to excellence. This Beginning of the Semester Caleb very readily commits all of Middle of the Semester Caleb's time and whenever Middle of the Semester Caleb slacks off- he assures himself that End of the Semester Caleb is all powerful and can accomplish any task no matter how little time he has allotted. After all End of the Semester Caleb IS all powerful- and can turn any grade into a passing one... What a stud!

I guess there is evidence of these three personalities in all of my relationships too. Except the stud among the relationship Caleb's is found in the Beginning of the Relationship Caleb. It remains an inexplicable miracle that despite the scanty resources to draw from, Beginning of the Relationship Caleb manages to capture the interest and steal the hearts of many an unwitting maiden. Middle of the Relationship Caleb simply has to have fun to draw them further in, until inevitably End of the Relationship Caleb AKA "Bruiser" swoops down. Bruiser lives off the hearts of these poor innocent beauties (similar to how I live off of bacon) by simply informing them that Beginning and Middle of Relationship Caleb didn't mean that they wanted a serious relationship- or maybe they did, but End of the Relationship Caleb convinced them otherwise (he can be very persuasive). Only one has ever seemed to satisfy End of Relationship Caleb, one who craftily sidestepped this Bruiser by cutting it off scarcely after Beginning of Relationship Caleb. This mysterious and wondrous maiden will remain cloaked in secrecy as the only one who has bested the beastly End of Relationship Caleb... *sigh*... someday...

I've got better things to do...

It always amazes me how people rationalize things in their lives. Please, as you read this post, do not assume that I am leaving myself out of this ginormous generalization. On the contrary, I am the entire inspiration for this little blurb on excuses.
Take for example, homework: As this blog is being created, an english paper is figuratively collecting dust in my "My Documents" folder on my desktop... I don't really have anything else to do, but instead of finishing it up like I should, I'm blogging and writing people on Instant Messenger. I could have written it earlier today, but I was too busy watching the latest episode of "Heroes"(which is so good, yet so incredibly frustrating!), and distracting myself with a rather good looking girl(which is so good, yet so incredibly frustrating!). I could have written it yesterday, but instead I decided to make a late night run to McDonalds to load up on the artery-clogging-goodness found there. I could have written it over thanksgiving weekend while I was sitting in my dorm for 4 days straight, but instead I played computer games, slept, and just sat around getting fat.
As you can see, I can take the most innocent of activities and twist them to my advantage. I can make the most unassuming boredom seem like a desperate necesity that cannot wait another 5 minutes! It's a talent really. I of course share this talent with many other people; most of which I would venture to say are guys. This phenomenon knows no bounds, its influence reaches far beyond the realms of mere schoolwork, and is found in nearly every facet of my life.
I go so far, that I rationalize my rationalization, saying: "I work better under pressure"(which may or may not be true).
Other things we rationalize can include excuses like: "I was just having fun..." "I didn't want to date her anyways..." "I've still got a couple more hours..." "I can always change tomorrow..." and my personal favorite: "It wasn't me, it was the testosterone!" There are many other excuses that we use, the list is really endless, and we each have our own favorites.
Which brings me to my final point: Most things we rationalize don't matter much. I already know that my english paper will spend another 3 glorious days relaxing in my"My Documents" folder; But come thursday night/friday morning, it will emerge from its homework cocoon as a beautiful majestic and miraculous work of art.
Other things in our life have a bigger effect than pleasing our pathetic excuse for an english teacher. I will not expound on this, for every one has their own el guapo, for some it may be sticking with something out of confusion or lack of options, for others it might be an irrational concern for one's safety, for others it could be an intolerable fury when things get frustrating. For me: I just happen to be the real el guapo...

Christmas is coming and I'm getting fat!

I have recently uncovered the secret to unparalleled satisfaction in gift giving!
Getting what you want for Christmas creates wonderful feelings of delight deep within the soul. It is only natural that one feel the need to help others to feel those same delightful sensations. The curious manifestation of of these truths is seen in the desire to give what makes US feel warm and fuzzy. We must discover that one and only gift that not only lights the fires of desire in the receiver but also lights those same fires in our own hearts. Let me give you a shining example from my own life:

I was recently faced with an almost insurmountable task of purchasing the perfect present for the eldest of the Marten offspring. Had I instead been assigned to give to a more... feminine family member I would be forced to remove "almost" from the previous sentence. Anyway... I quickly ruled out everything that I wasn't either planning to get, or already splurged on. A 1080p flat screen lasted only until I was reminded of my diminished financial status, and seriously if I could afford one I would already have one. Other extravagant gifts entered my mind... a '79 Trans am? a puppy? An official Red Ryder carbine action two-hundred shot range model air rifle with a compass in the stock? It all passed quickly through the vast recesses of my seldom utilized cranium. Then I knew what I wanted (Wanted to GIVE that is). My mind was drawn back in time to the irresistible urge to purchase on of my own not long ago. The old feeling of warmth and satisfaction lit the fires in my heart as I imagined another receiving those same feelings. Only I could light those fires! It was my calling! My duty! My destiny!

This Christmas give the gift that lights your fire! (and hopefully the fire of the receiver as well)
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!!! And happy giving!