...Close your eyes and sleep my child...

I, after many failures, finally managed to get to bed on time last night. This is no easy task to be sure; However I feel so much better and more productive that it may just be worth it. I hereby proclaim that 12:00 midnight will be my new bedtime on the weekdays, Saturday, and Sunday (basically everyday except Friday. Which then begs the question, "does that mean I don't have to go to bed on time on Thursdays too?" I have no classes on Friday, thus upgrading my Thursday into a Friday, and my Friday into a Saturday, gifting me with 2 blessed Saturdays). If that is the case then Maybe I shouldn't have to go to bed on time on Sunday or Tuesday either since I don't have classes those days until 1700 hours. I know, I know. I'm really trying to get a job. I now have 10 applications in and will call every last one of them tomorrow to demand to know why on earth they haven't hired me yet. In the mean time though, I am up to level 41 on Call of Duty and recently played some of my best games receiving scores such as: 23/7 (kills/deaths), 22/12, and 18/10*. Maybe I could put some of those on my resume, just to show them that I mean business. So, in summary: I will go to bed on time every single day, except Tuesday, Thursday (my Friday), Friday (my first Saturday) and Sunday. I feel so much better about myself now.
Speaking of Myself... I am now in the market for a new pair of spectacles. I have gone for quite a while with only contacts and find myself wearing them to bed more often than not. This causes my eyes to be quite dry in the mornings and I can't imagine it is good for them either. So the decision was made to purchase some glasses to wear while I'm just Chillaxin in the mornings and Evenings, and also on Tuesday, My Friday, My first Saturday, and Sunday. I prognosticate that this will greatly increase the overall happiness of my eyeballs. Maybe even allowing me to get such scores as 30/5, or 22/2. *sigh* oh college... what a horrible and unhealthy existence.

*Only the first mentioned score is confirmed- other scores are not exact numbers and in fact may or may not be complete lies...

Geek Factor=Happy Factor

Unlike Rider #1, I feel happiness comes from your geek factor. Perhaps the term geek factor is a little vague; let me clarify.

Tuesday night; I am sitting on the couch watching Dancing with the Stars as a favor to my wife. She hates watching it alone. As a good husband, I watch it with her; however, cognitively, I am in another world. “Artimis Fowl: He met Opal in the past--so why didn’t she recognize him? I know he has another book coming out, perhaps he explains it there. Anime is so much better than this. I am so glad Castle airs after this show. My wife looks so cute when she enjoys her shows. I wonder if she will like it when I get my Mythbuntu system set up so that she can record whatever she wants, or pause live TV to take care of the kids during the day. I bet I can even pipe it out to the garage; all it would take is drilling one hole-----WHAT!!!!!!! Did the host on Dancing with the Stars just tell that guy his wig looked like a TRIBBLE?!!?!?!?” That last comment drew a concerned look from my wife, which confused me until I realized I had said it out loud.

Asking her if she had heard what I said just caused more consternation. I thought she hadn’t heard me through my peals of laughter, but when I asked again after my fit of hysteria subsided I received the same response. She had NO idea what I was talking about and insisted I explain it on the next commercial break.

I reveled in the jumble of wonderful, useless, made-up facts that the word brought up in my mind. From Dr. McCoy: their purpose in life is to eat and give birth; they do both extremely well. Born pregnant. Ate all the grain. I postulated yet again how a creature of that design would affect a stoic biosphere such as a spaceship. I remembered that this creature made such a lasting impact that the new Star Trek movie released in the year 2009 featured a Tribble. I giggled to myself, still geeking out about it, drawing a “Shhhhh” from my wife.

The original Star Trek series epitomizes geekdom; it was the rise of the geek, and here it is being used as a reference on a show teeming with pop culture, the latest fashion, as well as a fan base that is mostly females which were born decades after this creature was introduced to the world by Gene Rodenberry. When I tried to explain this to my wife, she didn’t get it. I watched her expectantly, trying to contain my own bursts of mirth--all I got was “and...?” Realizing that I was one of about 100 people watching the show that got it just added to my revelry.

Tribbles are just one example out of many. Your amount of happiness you derive from such experiences, and how many you can have, depends on your geek factor. The geekier you are the more you see. The geekier you are the more humorous connections you make. Thus, happiness comes from being truly geeky and flaunting it, even in the unlikeliest places.

Hum your favorite hymn

I love Oreo's. I love Bacon. I love cars. These things make me normal. What may not be normal is my love of the failure of others. The other day I watched someone kill over 700 simulated people causing him to fail a test that is 50% of the grade for the entire course... *smile*. I witnessed a girl lose it during that same performance evaluation running from the radar lab and futilely attempting to stem the uncontrollable sobs of hysterical howling misery... *happiness*. This supports my anomalous factor... or does it?

This is an interesting psychological phenomenon. It does however provide convincing evidence of the truthfulness of my theory of life: Happiness is a desirable commodity, and like any other commodity you must gain it by appropriating it from one who possesses it already. Of course there are also ways of concocting happiness. This is done by adhering to happiness protocols found in happy places such as Church, Electronics stores, and carnivals. Another manafestation of these principles is the well known fact that insecure/unhappy people make fun of others; they do it in order to procure happiness that is not originally theirs. While this strategy is sometimes frowned upon by others "quicker, easier... more seductive it is." -Yoda

I would have to say that lately my ratio of production vs. pillage is about 50/50. I was finally able to get my truck running again by replacing the starter- 1 point light side. A crying girl made me smile- 2 points dark side. I have been putting increased effort into the successful magnification of my calling- 2 points light side. I watched this video 10 times and laughed hysterically each and every time (http://www.snotr.com/video/3157) - 1 point dark side. I ate bacon, I ridiculed a small boy... I'm sure you get the point (no pun intended), the battle is constant. Which is better? Light or Dark? This war is fought every day on multiple fronts, the hum of lightsabe... uh... the hum of happy children echoes over the battlefield. But what makes the happy humans hum?
Honestly, I don't care. I just like being happy whether I made it or stole it... it's mine now!